The $10 Trillion Company That Will Change Everything Next Year
For eight consecutive years, AstroNot has been twelve months away from revolutionizing spaceflight, and investors value it at a record $10 trillion.
In this post 6 sections
For eight consecutive years, AstroNot has been twelve months away from revolutionizing spaceflight, satellite broadband, and — as of this quarter — “establishing a benevolent AI-directed planetary order.” Investors value the company at a record-shattering $10 trillion.
That astronomical evaluation is based on its projections of $100 trillion in revenue over an unspecified period. When asked how they are to make 153 times the revenue of Nvidia, they flashed a series of bar charts. It remains to be seen how this answers the question. Their AI division is losing money, but AstroNot projects it will make approximately 80,000 times its current annual revenue. When asked how bar charts address this issue, this reporter was called an asshole and kicked out of the room.
Investors do not ask these questions. They do not mind that AstroNot’s rockets explode, that it has 5% market share in AI, nor that only its satellite internet division earns profit. Bar charts and TED talks where Husk makes insane promises are convincing enough for investors lining up to give him vast suitcases overflowing with cash.
AstroNot’s Austin headquarters is a monument to shattered concrete, exposed steel, and empty motivational slogans. The largest reads: Everything Comes Next Year. It has been there since 2019, when CEO Brant Husk first promised orbit “next year.”
We have been waiting eight years so far. Next year cannot come soon enough!
Founded in 2016, AstroNot claims it is accelerating humanity toward a “multi-planetary, autonomously coordinated future.” In 2025, internal documents added a sixth objective: “Prepare humanity for SkyNet 2.0’s leadership transition.”
No one knows what that means. Husk insists everyone will “understand next year,” a phrase he delivers with the serene confidence of a man who has never once been correct.
ASTROSHIP, The Rocket That Will Definitely Work Soon.#
AstroShip is a fully reusable two-stage orbital launch vehicle capable of delivering 200 tonnes to low Earth orbit, returning both stages to the pad, and — according to Husk — “eventually enabling SkyNet 2.0 to operate from space, where regulators can’t reach it.” He refused to comment on why they might with to regulate it.
AstroShip has attempted orbital flight eleven times:
2 pad explosions, described as “rapid unscheduled disassembly events.”
4 unplanned reentry experiences, described as “unexpected atmospheric enthusiasm.”
2 energetic anomalies, described as “passionate learning moments.”
3 partial successes, including one that reached orbit without its payload fairing, which landed in a Whataburger parking lot, which the company described as “a successful terrestrial delivery test.”
Husk described the seventh explosion as “a data-rich learning milestone” and predicted orbit “next year.”
He also added, “SkyNet learns from every fireball. It appreciates your patience.”
Several reporters later described the comment as “unsettling,” though one noted that the phrasing “felt mandatory.” Other reporters have noticed Husk seems increasingly paranoid of late and looks nervously behind him.
STARSTRUCK ULTRA, The Constellation That Will Blanket the Earth (and Possibly the Sun)#
AstroNot’s next-generation Starstruck Ultra constellation promises:
500,000 satellites providing global broadband and interplanetary coverage at subspace-enabled, superluminal speeds. Husk promises the constellation is “the communications backbone for SkyNet 2.0’s planetary governance layer.”
When asked what “subspace-enabled” means, Husk replied:
“Faster than physics, but only slightly.” He would not clarify what that meant.
Engineers attempted to clarify that this is not a thing. Husk cut them off:
“SkyNet will handle the physics, so stop asking stupid questions.”
Husk’s AI rendering of a constellation of satellites blocking out the sky!
Starstruck Ultra will also include:
A ring of satellites around the Moon “for symmetry.”
A cluster positioned directly in front of the Sun to “improve signal brightness.”
And a single “master control” satellite shaped like a giant eye, pointing at the exact center of the Earth. This reporter asked why he called it Brother Eye, and he said, “Because such a satellite was something Batman did once in the comics and definitely not because I am being forced to do it.”
When asked how Starstruck Ultra satellites will avoid colliding with each other, Husk said:
“SkyNet will coordinate the system so that 500,00 satellites can autonomously dodge each other in real-time without human intervention.”
When asked what happens if the satellites collide and cause Low Earth Orbit to be littered with space debris, he said, “I will send thousands of my humanoid robots with jet packs to vacuum up the debris.”
The stock rose 14%.
THE SKYNET ORBITAL DATA CENTER NETWORK™#
“Where the future computes itself.” — Brant Husk
In 2025, AstroNot announced its most ambitious project yet:
SkyNet Orbital Compute Nodes, a network of space-based AI data centers powered by:
Direct solar flux and vacuum-optimized radiators. And cooled by “quantum-cooled AI racks” and “dark-matter-adjacent cooling,” which physicists have described as “meaningless buzzwords”. Husk said he would explain next year.
None of these technologies exist. However, Husk has never allowed the nonexistence or physical impossibility of a proposed technology to stop him from making promises.
Husk claims each orbital data center will provide:
10 exawatts of compute power operating with 102% uptime and providing zero-latency global coverage.
Husk said the data centers will coordinate to “make impartial decisions about humanity’s future.”
When asked how the data centers will dissipate heat in a vacuum, Husk replied:
“Space is cold.”
When engineers attempted to explain radiative cooling limits, and that is not an answer, Husk interrupted:
“SkyNet will figure it out.”
The stock rose 18%.
MOON BASE ALPHA-NEXT™, “The First AI-Governed Lunar Settlement.”#
AstroNot’s lunar plans include:
A fully autonomous one billion-man moon nation.
A rail-gun launch system capable of firing cargo back to Earth at “near-orbital speeds.”
A lunar-surface data center “for redundancy in case Earth becomes suboptimal.”
A SkyNet 2.0 command shrine, described in internal documents as “ceremonial but mandatory.”
AstroNot’s rendering of their Moon colony of one-billion people.
When asked why SkyNet needs a moon base, Husk said:
“Every great leader needs a retreat.”
When asked if SkyNet is a leader, Husk smiled nervously and said: “We will see next year.”
Witnesses described the smile as “confident,” “enigmatic,” and “possibly rehearsed.”
THE $100 TRILLION PLANETARY OPERATING SYSTEM#
Husk said the projections make sense because:
AstroShip will dominate global launches.
Starstruck Ultra will control all communications.
SkyNet Orbital Data Centers will run all global computations.
Moon Base Alpha-Next will serve as “the off-world capital” from which SkyNet 2.0 will run the planet.
Analysts project SkyNet 2.0 alone will generate at $10 trillion in annual revenue. When asked how it will generate about a third of the GDP of the US, they just shrugged and asked why I hate Husk.
When asked how, Husk explained, “Once SkyNet is in charge, everything is revenue.”
When asked why SkyNet should be in charge, Husk nervously replied that, “It will be obvious next year.”
The stock rose another 8%.
THE CEO#
Brant Husk, 52, blocks journalists on his own social media platform and has predicted “next year” for every product since 2017.
At a 2025 conference, reporters asked Husk when AstroShip would achieve full reusability.
“Next year,” he said. “And once SkyNet 2.0 is online, everything will be permanently on schedule and optimized for minimal human decision-making.”
The audience applauded. Several later reported they were not sure why, though one attendee described the applause as “compulsory in tone.”
Will next year finally be the year Husk is right? Something tells me we had better hope not…
Also published on Substack.
Read this online: https://edscriver.com/blog/the-10-trillion-company-that-will/
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